In case you didn’t know, due to my Disability, I qualify for Medicare, and, in order to get the ol’ Part D Prescription Coverage, I deal with a “Medicare Advantage” program through SecureHorizons. That plan is now “branded” with the AARP logo for reasons that do me no good since I’m not even old enough to belong to the AARP (but at my next birthday, WHOOPIE!).

Anyway, from time to time, “AARP MedicareComplete form SecureHorizons” feels the need to send me some printed matter with information on services I may or may not be using and may or may not need. Their latest communique has a front cover that prompted a Level 4 WTF?!? from me. Let’s look at it, shall we?

Okay, point number one, it’s obvious that Insurance Companies, especially those doing business with T’e Fed’ral Guv’mint, are going to engage in public displays of Political Correctness, especially in the use of maximum-multi-ethnic clip art. Which usually doesn’t bug me. Of course, when I was a blonde boy the age of the blonde boy in this picture, I didn’t know three people who looked like the other three people in the picture, but that was the 1960s in the San Fernando Valley suburb of L.A. And then it struck me… blonde boy? Asian girl? Mixed-race child of somewhat indeterminate gender? Only the woman with the paintbrush looks anywhere near the age of 99% of the people Medicare Advantage plans apply to, and that’s only if you look closely, because she is certainly trying to look younger. Frankly, I doubt that very many of AARP MedicareComplete from SecureHorizons’ clients ever find themselves in the presence of three kids of any ethnic background unless they are all grandchildren. So that picture just looked not quite right for the intended audience.

Then I looked at the title that was supposed to describe the contents of this communique: Health or wellness or prevention information Or WTF?!? The first time I read it, my eyes skipped over the second ‘or’, just like you can miss short words that are duplicated like this over here –>

Is this information on how to prevent health or wellness? Even with the second ‘or’, it could be interpreted as giving the option for health/wellness prevention. Now, many people may consider it one of the benefits of America’s pseudo-free-market health care industry that they are not forcing health and wellness on us, but that is exactly the kind of thinking that is the mission of this blog to destroy. Then again, if you think that your wellness or illness should be something you make a conscious choice about, I recommend you choose Cancer.

Then again, just looking at this design disaster from a so-called Health Care Provider makes choosing against health somewhat tempting.

As I have noted way too often, I was born the same day teen icon James Dean died, which I suspect resulted in my lifelong lack of a Cause (although I never got the hang of being a Rebel). So when I heard the news that Jimmy Dean had died, I checked my vital signs 37 times over the next 36 hours.

Once semi-reassured I was surviving (as well as I ever do), I noticed that nobody had posted an obit for him at MetaFilter (known for its frequent ‘Obitfilters’ and the practice of comments consisting of a single period “.” to represent a moment of silence) so I did it myself.

Jimmy was best known to Mefites for his brand of sausage, although he sold the company in the ’80s, and was dropped as its spokesman in 2003; its current owner is Sara Lee*. But his musical legacy is sealed by his ‘country rap**’ classic "Big Bad John" (performed live in 2008), often imitated, but never parodied better than with the stereotypical gay hairdresser saga "Big Bruce"*** (info). But to me, he was the guy with the variety show where he spent several minutes every week bantering with the muppet Rowlf****. Here’s Jimmy in Esquire Magazine’s "What I’ve Learned". His final resting place is music-themed, NOT sausage themed. "Here lies one hell of a man."

* Sara Lee’s original namesake is LONG gone but the company recently had a female CEO who is currently on medical leave.
** other MeFites pointed out the formal name for that style of song was “recitation”, but any category of song that includes “Big Bad John”, “A Boy Named Sue” and “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” deserves a cooler name.
*** the Steve Greenberg who did that novelty record was not the same guy who was behind Lipps, Inc. and “Funkytown”, it was oddly appropriate that they had the same name. Another classic Big Bad John parody pointed out by others was “The Ballad of Irving”, but it was more a general satire of folk legend songs.
**** performed by Jim Henson, with Frank Oz giving a hand (literally). The first muppet character to have a regular role in a TV series, ‘Old Brown Ears’ was pivotal in building the brand.

Sexual Congress
is the cleverly titled site which tries to find the most attractive members of the U.S. Congress by having you choose between two official portraits, in the proud tradition (and methodology) of KittenWar * (and PuppyWar *) and Randall Munroe’s late lamented Best, Fairest and Funniest Ever sites. For non-USians, there’s a similar, more subtle, British site.

as seen on MetaFilter

A perfectly cromulent new word: Collapsitarianism. Apparently coined by social critic James Howard Kunstler when he declared "I’ve never been a complete collapsitarian,*" comparing himself to Dmitri Orlov, who uses the term Collapse in his writings – a lot. It failed to be popularized by blogger Kevin Kelly in early 2009 (during the fifteen minutes after Obama’s inauguration when optimism came back; bad timing), who defined it as an umbrella term for a diverse collection of dystopian groups, but specifically the ones looking forward to whatever Collapse they expect. Analyzed by Mother Jones (and semi-rebutted by Dmitri Orlov hmself), the term has even been used by such semi-forward-looking entities as The Tomorrow Museum. The word appears to be due for a comeback (if it has anything to come back to) as the New York Times used it in an article about Peak Oil. Finally, premillenialism for the non-religious!

* not unlike the phenomenon where a phrase is not considered Oxymoronic until someone has written an article loudly declaring that it "is NOT an Oxymoron".

As seen on MetaFilter.

The very short and fairly descriptive domain name e.co is being auctioned off. 90 minutes into the 3 day auction, $16,000USD has been bid, and it can be expected to go much higher. Of course, anyone can bid, and it’d be a great asset for the BP PR department at any price, right?

As seen at MonkeyFilter